The Awful Neurological Diagnosis
After years of experiencing those illusive symptoms I started to feel like a hypochondriac. After all, my doctor knew I was only seeking attention, so why shouldn’t I start to realize that my symptoms were mere phantoms. I had completely stopped mentioning any health difficulty that could not be quantified by myself first.
Then came a time when everything changed. I had an appointment to see my regular general practitioner when an intern was doing preliminary examinations for my own doctor. As I was talking to the intern she actually witnessed me experiencing the lighting bolts of pain. There was no ignoring or disguising the pain I felt at that time. It was so sudden and so very, very intense. She explained to me that this was called trigeminal neuralgia which involves a malfunction of one of the major facial nerves.
The intern had taken a class on MS the day before and was eager to practice what she had learned. After a thorough examination she reported what she had observed to my doctor. I was then referred to a neurologist. Just like that, I was finally seeing a neurologist. I did not realize until years later that I could have requested an appointment with a neurologist and my GP would have had to refer me. (At least in Canada, I am not sure how things are done in other countries. In Canada we cannot see a specialist unless we are referred by our GPs.)
On the first visit with the neurologist he calmly said, “Yes, you probably have MS, but I want to do some simple tests first.” One of these tests was a Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), the other test is a Spinal Tap.
The Day of Discovery
The day I found out that I had MS was a gray, dismal day. The neurologist walked into the examination room, perched on the edge of his desk, slapped my chart down, and said, “You have MS”.
After a lengthy stunned pause he continued, “There is nothing I can do for you unless you have $17,000 a year to spend on medicine!” He allowed a short pause before he asked, “Do you have that amount of money?” I numbly answered in the negative. He stood up and walked out; flippantly and callously, saying, “Have a good day.”
I was numb with shock. I made my way to the waiting room and my daughter was. We left. To her question of the diagnosis, I numbly replied, “Yes, I have MS”.
When we got to the street the sky had opened up and the rain was pouring down. We had several blocks to walk. I started crying. We were both very quiet, with our own private thoughts.
Nature plastered us with drenching water, running down our faces. No one on the street, even noticed that I was crying. After a few block I started to pray. I gave myself, and my MS, completely over to the care of God.
By the time we got to the car I knew that God was in control and my life could be very good, even with MS. I wasn’t relieved. I wasn’t accepting. I wasn’t understanding. But, I did know that I didn’t have to do this alone.
To many, I may appear to be healthy. I may appear to have no difficulty with balance, vision, speech, muscle spasms, tremors, cognitive abilities, or fatigue. Many do not see the emotional and physical pains that I experience because of MS. MS is not always a visible disease.
For most MS patients, MS is a: silent, invisible, chronic, progressive, sometimes devastating disease. MS can attack any part of the central nervous system, including: the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerve. It is believed that our body’s immune system is attacking itself.
Bonnie
I feel for you, Bonnie…
I was misdiagnosed, even with severe symptoms, with stress. I believed it, afterall, it was the diagnosis of a doctor, afterall. I don’t have any faith in doctors anymore and see a naturopath regularly and have changed my diet to eat alkaline. The last MRI on the Thanksgiving long weekend, showed a lesion had shrunk by half and an area of “activity” had disappeared. There are alternatives.
By: Diana on November 4, 2008
at 6:25 am
I will continue to see my doctor only for the purpose of documenting my progress and for continuation of testing. I want to request access to the retinal scan that is used to determine brain health. I have read that it’s more accurate, cheaper, quicker, etc. than an MRI to show what’s really going on. I still have a ways to go, but I’m feeling greater than I have in years and almost all of my symptoms are either completely gone or are noticeably improved… I continue to get better and better. The big difference between a well-trained naturopath and a doctor, is a doctor treats symptoms, whereas a naturopath gets to the root cause of the symptoms. I am also carefully taking (food grade) 35% hydrogen peroxide (10 drops in a full glass of water, 3X a day, 20 minutes before or 2 hours after, any food). Diseases, such as MS cannot live in an oxygenated environment, much less thrive. I’ve given this terrible disease its eviction notice; I never invited it in, so it’s gotta go.
By: Diana on November 4, 2008
at 6:36 am